Fuckery Fridays: Cause You Asked For It...

Ayyyooooo!!!
I know, I know.
I'm a horrible blogger, I don't keep promises or deadlines, I leave with no hint as to when I'll be back....
It's just that working 16 hour days, doesn't leave a whole lot of time for the blogging thing.
Trust me, there's mucho fuckerio that I want to share with ya'll, but I don't like doing short posts.
sidenote: If you ever REALLY miss me, I do twit, so I mean there's fuckery in concentrated form if you like. @PhlyyPhree ...come follow the kid.

At any rate, cause I know it's been so long, I'm gonna try to give you as much as I can without overloading you....
I would have come back with a Tell Em Thursday, but ya'll deserve better sooooooooo....

Fuckery Fridays it is!

- Pandora,
Really? You just gonna randomly start charging me fees to listen to your free ass free online radio? What part of the fuckin game is that. First I gotta deal with your stupid ass ads, now you want me to pay .99 cents a month? The fuck do you think you are? iTunes? Cause lil did you know, I don't pay them niggas either. Trust and believe, I vow to find a way around that fee or never visit your website again. I suggest you respond accordingly.

- Claudia,
STOP FUCKING CONTACTING ME! Just because you have my phone number, email and bbmPin does NOT mean that you have to call me EVERY day, ALL day. And I could see all the contact, if you had shit to say. BBMing me to tell me that it's Friday, then turn around to TEXT me and ask me what time I get my hair done to follow up with an email about a party that YOU CANT EVEN GO TO TOMORROW NIGHT?!?!
O.C.
Keep playing and I'ma put your ass in jail. Matter of fact, wouldn't it be nice if they had a twitterjail for people who talk to you too much in real life??

-Rodney,
SIT.THE.FUCK.DOWN. You lost this one killa. And by one, I mean me AND your pro tools. And you stupid if you think I'm gonna reimburse you $400. What part of the game is that? Matter of fact, this is the part of the game where YOU LOSE! I told you quit playing games with me; you didn't wanna listen, so now you're coming up short. And if I see one more slick ass comment about me on f.book, please believe that I will blow your spot up. How many bitches you think you gonna get once they find out that not only do you suck your thumb and wear womens deodorant, but that you have to sleep with a night light? #justcurious...

-Chanelle,
I am your friend. However you need to start calling me with some good times/when you have shit or just stop calling me. EVERY single time you've called me for the past month, you've needed something, wanted me to do something for you or just wanted to cry in my ear.

I don't wanna hear that shit.

I'm sorry, but I have limited free time these days and I ain't really tryin to dedicate whole chunks of that to you and your issues. Actually, I ain't even sorry bout that shit.
You still in school. Go use the free therapist.

-Nissan,
you do NOT get my money AND my car. I expect to be FULLY reimbursed for the inconvenience of not having my car for two whole days. Who gives a fuck if the payment was late. Ya'll should have processed it when you got it instead of letting it sit for a week. And I KNOW when you got it, casue I sent it certified. Keep playin with me if you want to. I will WALK to TX and we can talk bout this face to face.

-Germaine,
Just because you intercepted your birthday gift before I could reclaim it, does not make us friends again.
Just because I gave you ass during homecoming, doesn't make us friends again.
Just because you also have my contact information doesn't make us friends..again.
WEEEEE will not be anywhere during thanksgiving. At least not together. And you don't need my sisters number again, cause...well hell, you never needed it! And I have two jobs now. Neither of which is being your cheerleader/counselor. If you feel down and droopy, call your girl! That's the bitch you chose over me, so the fuck is you coming back for?
Get gone and stay gone.

-Interscope/Fed Ex/Target/Best Buy
Why in the flying red monkey ball hell would ya'll not let me be great on Tuesday?? It ain't often that I even try to support artists by actually spending my money on albums and one of the few times I try, ya'll undership the record?!!? If I was Wale, I'd drop my contract and then go to...Death Row or some shit.
Anywhere but fuckin with ya'll. And the real bullshit of it all, is that not only did you set the man up for failure by not shipping adequate copies of the album across the country, you also made him and yourselves look like suckers for not having enough copies in the DMV. I mean how the fuck you let DTLR have more copies than anybody?
Ya'll mafuckas SUCK!

-Penal Institutions,
Sooooo ya'll just gon lock up all the good rappers? Wayne? Gucci? What I gotta do to get you to throw in Soulja Boy and Oj da Juiceman...cause I'll make that donation to your booster club. FOR REAL!

-5 Hour energy drinks
Seriously. Why do I feel like I'm drinking unicorn piss every time I take one of you? There is no reason that I should think that all of the wonderland of Oz has come to take a dump in my mouth by the time I finish swallowing. And I knoooow that you're supposed to keep me energized, but thee fuck??? What do ya'll contain? Crack and byproducts from Sammy Sosa's skin cream?
If I didn't have to stay awake virtually all the time, I'd stop taking you...but at this point, I think I'd go through withdrawals and I'm too cute to be crying like pookie.
Speaking of me being up all the damn time.

-HR Dept @ BOTH of my jobs
I don't know when ya'll got together and decided to make my life hell, but stop that shit. First job, ya'll just need to understand. I'm here, I work. What more do you want? It ain't like the world is gonna stop if I don't take lunch at a certain time. I take it when I'm hungry or when I need the sleep. Get over it.
2nd job, now yaaaaaaa'll done lost ya'll everloving rabbit ass minds.
If you schedule me from until 10, I'm leaving at 10. maybe 10:01 if the cute boy is there. Other than that, I'm clocking out when teh fuck you schedule me to clock out. Ain't nobody tryin to hear this "we're a team, so we have to stay and help out the other departments". No. Are you gonna help me to some of their pay, for doing some of their job? Then they need to get that shit done. Cause they damn sure don't come assist me with your rude ass guests when I'm overwhelmed. And I don't believe in "suggested" departure times. You for damn sure dn't let me have a "suggested" time I come in. Plus, I have ANOTHER FULL TIME JOB. When ya'll start paying me full time money, with full time hours, we'll sit down and re-negotiate.

- J,
Don't let alllll the hype and all the groupies fool you. You're still not quite that famous yet. I have no doubt that one day you WILL be famous. However, you keep treating me how you're treating me now, and I'll be the FIRST person to line up for the expose. If you can call me when you need some shit, then you can respect me enough to call me and let me know you made it off the road safely. Trust and believe, that I'm not tryna wife you (well not really) and I DON'T wanna be up under you all the time, but you need to figure out what the fuck you want. Cause cuffin me in public, then turning around and leaving a voicemail on my phone where you have a 5 min conversation begging some other chick to take you back = not good shit.
It's on you, but choose wisely, cause you can only choose once.

-Oohs and Aahs man,
I wanna fuck.
tis all.

Annnndddd... POW!
I'm done for the day. Of course, I'll be back to explain all these tidbits and more, but for now, I gotta go punch in on someone's clock again.
I will say this for working two jobs all the time, it's done WONDERS for my couch dancing - liver reduction habit! I no longer have to finesse my way into those bottles, I can actually afford some of them.
I still don't pay, but just knowing that I can, makes the couch dancing all the better.
Oh and remind me to show ya'll the pics from the last month. When I say I got it in?
you have NO idea.


...deuces